


Jaded

by karasluthqr, unitchiefwives



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Abuse, F/F, Gen, Read at Your Own Risk, eventual jemily, jeid friendship, major angst, unsub! jj
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 07:29:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20111404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karasluthqr/pseuds/karasluthqr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/unitchiefwives/pseuds/unitchiefwives
Summary: "I train my eyes on the man lying lifeless ten feet in front of me, trying to piece together the missing puzzle pieces in my mind. The man had gray hair, balding from the front but not too badly. Probably about 65 years old, give or take. Fingernails were short, chipped. His eyes… still open. Blue."





	Jaded

**Author's Note:**

> This story was born out of mine and unitchiefwives desire to write a dark, angst-filled story about JJ. It's going to be rough and there will be very little fluff, if any at all. We will also add the triggers as the story progresses. 
> 
> Don't forget to leave comments and feedback. It's very much appreciated!
> 
> Read at your own risk and enjoy!

_No. No. No. Oh God. What did I do? What the _**_hell _**_did I just do? How did this happen? _**_How _**_could I do this? I didn’t mean to… did I mean to do this? No. No, of course not. I couldn’t have. It was an accident. I mean, he- it _**_was _**_an accident, right? I would never do anything to- I could_ _never. I-I couldn’t. I _**_couldn’t_**_._

_ “JJ?” _

_ I couldn’t. I’m not a murderer. _

_ “Agent Jareau, can you hear me?” _

_ Am I? Could I be capable of something like this? _

_ “Jennifer.” _

_ I feel a pressure on my arm, but I don’t turn to check what it was from. Or _ ** _who_ ** _ . I can’t. I’m frozen, trapped in my own thoughts as they spiral out of control. I promised myself that I wouldn’t do this again. That I would never _ ** _freeze up _ ** _ like this again. _

_ “Jennifer, look at me.” _

_ Emily? I look down. Her hand’s on my arm. That must be the pressure I felt before. _

_ “Look at me.” _

_ Slowly, I turn my head in the direction of the voice and I feel a sense of relief wash over me. It _ ** _is _ ** _ her. _

_ “Emily,” My voice comes out hoarse, my throat drier than I expect. “What- What happened?” _

_ “You don’t remember?” _

_ I lick my chapped lips and glance around the room. It’s dark. The floor made of concrete. There’s a body laying crumpled in the center of it, a bullet hole in the head. My eyes flicker to hers. “I-I know _ ** _something _ ** _ happened. But I-” I shake my head, frustrated at my inability to remember. “I can’t remember what.” _

_ “JJ, do you remember whose house this is?” _

_ She looks concerned. Why is she concerned? Why is she talking to me like I should _ ** _know _ ** _ whose house this is? Who this _ ** _man_ ** _ is. Should I? _

_ “Jennifer,” A quiet voice speaks up from behind me. I turn around. Spence_ _. He shares a worried glance with Emily before his solemn gaze settles on me._

_ I furrow my brows in confusion. What the hell is going on?_

_ “JJ, you know this place.” Emily speaks up, drawing my gaze towards her once again. “And you know this man.” _

_ I train my eyes on the man lying lifeless ten feet in front of me, trying to piece together the missing puzzle pieces in my mind. The man had gray hair, balding from the front but not too badly. Probably about 65 years old, give or take. Fingernails were short, chipped. His eyes… still open. Blue. _

* * *

_(Flashback)_

** _“It should have been you.”_ **

** _A loud boom sounded and the man fell to the floor as the life faded from his piercing blue eyes. _ **

* * *

_ I gasp, stumbling backwards. _

_ The man was my father. _


End file.
